FROM THE HEART: I don’t talk about it much! People usually shut me down or don’t want to hear about it, but I still struggle with PTSD and occasional Depression because of me being severely abused as a child, then, as an adult, I was a Paramedic and Volunteer Fireman! There are still memories and mental images and emotional scars I have to deal with on a daily basis! Please don’t tell me to “get over it,” or “just put it behind me and move on,” or any other heartless cliches! Until you have been through what I’ve been through, do you have the right to respond! The horrible beatings and verbal abuse I experienced as a little boy, the daily dealing with death, dead bodies and blood and losing small children to die in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, pulling people from burning vehicles, whose skin was melting in my hands, watching people die in front of me and hundreds of dead bodies in the morgue, eventually took a toll on my psyche! Yes, I’m a Christian now! Yes, I have Jesus in my heart! Yes, I have asked Jesus to heal me of my past and erase the memories! But, it’s all still there! Don’t ask me if I have seen a Counselor or Psychologist, because I have! But, they had no clue what I was talking about and would only offer me more meds! If it wasn’t for Jesus, I wouldn’t be here right now telling you these things! He has prevented me from taking my own life a number of times! I’ve spent 50 years helping people overcome their problems with them not knowing of my sleepless nights and the feeling that I was all alone in my battles against these enemies of emotional and physical realities! One reason that I spend so much time in Bible study and prayer is so I will be close to Jesus and not lose my mind!!! (IF THERE’S ANYONE OUT THERE WHO IS EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING AND NEEDS TO TALK, MESSAGE ME)
